Here’s everything you need to know about regulating yourself and
controlling your behavior.
Do you ever wonder why we humans act differently than each other? Why do some people
indulge in sweet treats when they’re on a diet while others seem to manage not eating junk food
on a diet? Well, it all comes down to self-regulation—or how well we control our own behavior.
In this article, we’ll talk about the science behind self-regulation and offer some strategies to
help you regulate your behavior.
Self-regulation may involve control over our thoughts, emotions, impulses, appetites, or task
performance. Self-regulation is often thought to be the same thing as self-control (Vohs &
Baumeister, 2004) and it usually involves stopping or inhibiting an action although it sometimes
involves initiating an action (Baumeister, 2014).
Self-regulation may be behavioral or cognitive (or both).
Behavioral self-regulation involves controlling behavior. We might opt not to punch someone
in the face or we might opt to practice the violin in preparation for a recital. We are engaging (or
not engaging) in a behavior.
Cognitive self-regulation involves the control of thoughts. Maybe we try not to think about our
romantic partner who just broke up with us or we try to shift our thoughts to being grateful for
our bosses even when they stress us out. Often, cognitive self-regulation precedes behavioral
self-regulation. That’s because shifting our thoughts is often a key step in changing our
behavior.
Conscious self-regulation versus unconscious self-regulation
Self-regulation can also be conscious or nonconscious. For example, we might consciously
control our anxiety by engaging in a technique like deep breathing. Or, we might unconsciously
regulate our anxiety by having an inherent habit of focusing on other things that make us less
anxious. It’s also possible that self-regulation can fall somewhere between conscious and
unconscious (Vohs & Baumeister, 2004).
Examples of Self-Regulation
● Bruce has just quit smoking and when someone offers him a cigarette, he says, “No
thanks.”
● Amelia has a test tomorrow and even though she doesn’t like the subject matter, she
forces herself to study all night long.
● Elijah is on a diet and attends a BBQ with friends. Instead of eating a big plate filled with
burgers, chips, and cake, he settles for a salad.
As you can see, self-regulation is everywhere. It involves anything that we force ourselves to do
or not to do.
How to Boost Your Self-Regulation Skills
So what can you do to increase your self-regulation skills? Here are some ideas:
1. Make it hard to lose self-control
In Dan Ariely’s Ted Talk, he shares a bunch of examples of how “bad” behaviors were stopped
simply by making it really unpleasant or impossible to engage in these behaviors. For example,
he mentions an alarm clock that donates to a charity you hate every time you hit the snooze
button. Here are some other tricks that can make self-control a bit easier by making it hard to
engage in undesired behaviors:
● Dieting. Remove all junk food from the house. Place a bowl of healthy snacks on the
counter (like apples). Keep a healthy snack with you at all times so you don’t resort to
buying junk food.
● Smoking. Throw away all cigarettes. Try not to spend time with smokers. Go to places
where smoking is not allowed.
● Using your smartphone. Remove all tempting apps from your phone. Change your
home screen to greyscale to make it less enticing. Plug your phone in in the living room
instead of your bedroom so you’re less likely to use it at night.
● Studying. Make a bet with your friend that you’ll get an A and if you don’t then you have
to pay them money.
● Waking up early. Put your alarm clock on the other side of the room so you have to get
up to hit the snooze button.
● Exercising. Put your shoes and workout clothes next to your bed. Agree to meet a
friend at the gym every day so you’ll feel guilty if you don’t show up.
2. Give yourself homework
One study showed that kids actually developed self-regulation skills through homework.
Homework involves motivating yourself, inhibiting distractions, sticktoitiveness, managing time,
setting goals, self-reflecting on efforts, and delay of gratification (Ramdass & Zimmerman,
2011).
As adults, we can use this strategy too. We can give ourselves “homework” assignments that
require us to develop our skills. For example, we might give ourselves the following homework
assignments:
● Spend 30 minutes per day using a foreign language app to learn a new language.
● Study for an exam that can help us get an advanced degree or certification.
● Take an online course.
● Devote a few hours on Saturdays to developing a new skill like car mechanics or
carpentry.
By regularly working towards building new skills, we hone our ability to regulate our behavior
and it gets easier to practice self-control.
References
● Baumeister, R. F. (2014). Self-regulation, ego depletion, and inhibition.
Neuropsychologia, 65, 313-319.
● Ramdass, D., & Zimmerman, B. J. (2011). Developing self-regulation skills: The
important role of homework. Journal of advanced academics, 22(2), 194-218.
● Vohs, K. D., & Baumeister, R. F. (2004). Understanding self-regulation. Handbook of
self-regulation, 19.